Mary Ann & Jay Pastori

Our hearts are heavy with you - you are exploring this path not because it is easy but because you love your child more than anything in this world. We won't pretend we understand, but we do know how it feels to love your child with your whole heart the moment you learn you're a parent. We already love you and your child and hold space in our hearts for you. We have been together for ten years, and got married in 2019. We've always wanted to be parents, and decided to pursue adoption after we lost two babies of our own. We spent the past couple of years in therapy working through our grief and committing to making sure we're both in a place where we can be our best selves. We're committed to this journey and know that adoption won't replace the babies we lost, and that we could never replace you. We have worked to come to terms with the similarities and differences of parenthood through adoption. Above everything else, we plan to honor the love and bond between you and your child. We do not want to compete or replace, nor could we. You are a part of your child and your child is a part of you, and we hope to make you feel as loved and supported as we hope to with your child. We plan to honor your child through honoring you - and to add to the love your child receives - not replace. We want to honor your wishes and meet you where you at, even if that changes throughout time. We feel that restricting or hindering your child's relationship with you is restricting the love they receive - we want to make sure they know how deeply loved they are by their entire family - both first and second. We took a long time to decide that adoption was right for us - we had a lot to work through and have worked on educating ourselves as much as we can. We have not turned away from the hard conversations and have been truthful about our feelings even when it's hard to share. We have both committed to therapy and will continue to educate ourselves for the rest of our lives. We are in a place where we are committed to putting a child first and making the necessary sacrifices when needed. We do not have expectations of a child, and we plan to be incredibly conscious of what we pass along and expose a child to. We have experienced heart break and the thought of becoming parents sometimes feels surreal. Should that day come for us, neither one of us would take a second for granted. We will make mistakes, but we are both so ready to support and love. We are ready to truly put a child first, and to commit to doing the work on ourselves and our marriage so that a child grows up in a loving home - so that they see love daily, know what love means, and know they are loved. We know this journey will not be easy, and just as we are committed to each other through learning, loving and growing, we are committed to this process. Sincerely, Mary Ann & Jay

Mary Ann & Jay Pastori